Disguised Feelings
by mikunagato20
Summary: Sebastian Michealis is one of the most popular boys in school and is always fawned over by every girl in his school because of his looks. when new female student Ciel Phantomhive arrives, Sebastian just can't get her attention and realises he is falling for her as he becomes more and more curious about who she is, when she reveals her true identity things are not what they seem
1. Chapter 1

So this is an AU black butler fan fiction and I would like to say this is my first AU so please don't judge me for the OOCness of the character's  
second thing is this is also over on wattpad so if you see this there as well you'll notice it is also written by me XD

this is based in the UK because one its based in England anyway and plus I don't know the high school systems, you'll find that Sebastian and Ciel are actually in secondary school.

I do not own black butler\kuroshitsuji in anyway, shape or form and if I did we would all be doomed lol

Sebastian's POV

I walked into class as I always do and sat at my desk today was a rather dull day nothing new ever happened at this boring institution they call school. All I do every day is show up, be pestered by girls who wear there skirts way too short with also way too much make-up, then have to sit in classes to listen to some old geezer go on about some subject that we will never need to know in the future.

It just so annoying, I mean I do have frienp like bardroy, mey-Rin and finnian but to be honest they can be real idiots.

My attention was them turned to the front of the class as the teacher told us to quieten down as he had an announcement for up.

"Right, we have a new student joining up today please treat if kindly as she has had a hard time fitting in at her last few schools" Mr spears said

The new student walked into the classroom and stood at the front, she was really pretty and her eyes were two different colours one was as blues as the oceanic and the other was a deep purple, her hair was also a bluish grey... Though she was rather short to be in year 11 she looked perfect.

"Nice to meet you all my name is Ciel Phantomhive, I hope we all get along" she said in an angelic tone.

Mr spears pointed her to sit in the seat directly next to me, I was determined to introduce myself to the young lady.

When she sat down she saw me staring at her and rolled her eyes, I felt this was going to be a little more difficult that I thought.

"Hey, your Ciel right" I asked.

She nodded.

"Nice to meet you, my name is Sebastian Michealis, if you like I can show you around"

She looked at me and smiled "that would be nice Sebastian... But I think I can find my own way around" she said.

This kinda shocked me no girl has ever refused me before so... Why now.

"Please I just want to make friends with you"

She rolled her eyes for the second time today "okay then"she finally agreed.

By the time Mr spears history class had finished I was rather anxious to talk to Ciel again, I don't know why I just couldn't get her off my mind.

We stood up and walked out of the class "would you like to get lunch first" I asked.

She nodded and I lead here into the canteen. "So what will you have"I asked.

"Umm I'll have some chocolate chip cake with the cream chocolate on it"

"I'll pay for your Ciel, anyway I think I'll have the same"

We sat down on our own and Ciel dug into her cake making small moaning sounds of enjoyment. It was a little bit of a bad situation so I had to make conversion.

"So Ciel tell me about yourself"I asked.

She put down her fork and looked at me dead in the eye "how about you tell me about yourself first as I do not tell things about myself to people I barely know"

"Okay.. my name is Sebastian Michealis of course you already knew that. I am 17 years old, I like cats and I also like anime and am going to MCM comic con soon, I live alone so I do as I please. and my favourite food is ramen"

"Well and here I was thinking that you would be an complete utter douchebag" she giggled.

"Well you should never judge a book by its cover my dear miss Phantomhive"

"I guess you are correct Mr Michealis"

"So tell me about yourself Ciel" I asked.

She looked at my untouched food and smiled "okay then, you tell me about yourself and I'll give you this cake" I said

She nodded and I gave her my cake.

"Well I am 16 turning 17 in December and I am allergic to cats, but I did have a dog once named Sebastian, I too like anime and am unfortunately not going to MCM (1) this year. I like cake and tea."

She likes anime as well !

"So if I said the words Dango daikazoku, what is your response" I quizzed her.

"I would ask why are you trying to make me cry"

I smiled as I realised she has had the experience of watching clannad.

We talked, laughed and generally got to know each other.

"Hey if you want I can take you to MCM, I'll pay for your ticket so you woot have to worry" I offered.

"Do you mean like a date... Because you don't want to take me out on a date... "

"Well... " I blushed. "Ciel Phantomhive this will be our first date if you want, I don't see why any guy would pass up on a chance on spending time with you my dear"

She laughed and smiled "we best in to class"

I blushed again and I smiled back I liked this girl a lot but I had the strangest feeling she wasn't telling me something.

As the day flex by I found myself constantly thinking about her she clouded my thoughts. Her long, blue hair, her perfect eyes and her abnormally Flat chest... What why the hell was I thinking about how big her chest was it really didnt matter to me how big they were...

"Hey Sebastian"BardRoy said.

I looked at him and smiled "have you seen that new chick, she looks so freaking hot, I would like to get on that"

His words annoyed me as he spoke about Ciel in the manner that if was "bard... If you are going to have such vulgar thoughts about the girl who just agreed to go on a date with me, I suggest you shut up before I shove my boot up you ass"

If quickly quietened down as I made sure it was clear that she was going to be mine.

"Mind you Sebastian she doesn't act at all like a lady... She does a lot of things boys should normally do." Finnian said

"Yeah wouldn't surprise me if that was a lad, dressed as a girl to hide the fact they are gay and obviously ashamed of it, it would also explain the lack of boobs " bard suggested

"You two best shut the hell up before I actually rip your tongues out"

I stormed off, pissed with the accusations that were being made towards Ciel.


	2. chapter 2 Emotions

Sebastian had once again arrived to school for another day of Mr spears ramblings of the world in the part.

Mr Sutcliffs ((who teaches drama)) not so subtle flirtatious comments.

And in math Mr Knoxs who more or less flirts with the girls in the class rather then actually teaching them maths.

Then English where they have Mr tanaka, who gives the class the work then tells them what to do, After if does that he sits at his desk drinking Japanese green tea whilst saying "Ho Ho Ho"

But Sebastian had one thing to look forward to... Ciel Phantomhive. That was whether she was in a good mood for the day. Sebastian actually discovered Ciel to be a rather odd young lady, she loved cakes and sweets, but wasn't concerned about her weight or getting fat like all the over girls who counted their calories.

Ciel loathed cute things as when she was younger her cousin Elizabeth was crazy for that sort of stuff. But Ciel was different She loved console games like mmo's, rpg's, first person shooters and visual novels.

Not only that but she also loved anime and manga, she didn't show it but she was an Otaku the same as Sebastian.

But there was thing concerning Sebastian about Ciel, he just couldn't put his finger on it, he didn't find the way she acted strange but he more found her personality was unique to who she was. He had never encounter a girl like Ciel before ... And this just made him more and more interested to who she was, he wanted to know all of her likes and dislikes, he wanted to be able to hold her.

He wanted to know her secrets, her past, her present and he wanted to be her future. Before he even knew it himself he was in love with her.

But no matter what Ciel wouldn't let Sebastian in her life, although she was looking forward to her and Sebastian's weekend date to comic con, she knew they would share a hotel room and Sebastian would find about her didn't want Sebastian finding about her true identity and who she really was.

This scared her, she actually quite liked the older male from the first moment they met, but she was afraid he wouldn't accept her for who she really was... She was scared of loosing Sebastian for lying to him. If Sebastian did out he would surely hate Ciel.

As Sebastian walked into history Sebastian spotted Ciel, but unfortunately Mr wanted to talk to Sebastian. "Mr Michealis, may I ask as to why for the past 3 months your grade has gone from a 'A' to a 'B' a whole grade, I'm dissappointed"

"Maybe the teacher is the problem not the student... Or maybe you should just cut me some slack as I work my ass of in every other class not just yours" with that Sebastian walked away and sat next to Ciel.

"Morning"Sebastian said cheerfully.

Ciel ignored him.

"So how are you today" he asked.

She once again ignored him.

"Cielll... You in there"

He kept doing this for a while but she continued to ignore him.

"Lights are on but no one is at home" he sisd and that was the final staw for Ciel she stood up in the middle of class and slapped Sebastian. She did not regret this action, although Sebastian then had also stood up they then proceeded to shout profanities at each other. "Sebastian, Ciel !" Mr spears shouted.

"What they shouted back"

"There are obviously some sort of tension between you two... But do you seriously have to scream at each other in the middle of my class." He said

But when Mr spears said "tension" they instantaneouly knew which kind he meant "sorry Mr spears" they said whilst blushing. They sat down and didn't utter another word until the end of class.

But then Mr spears held them back behind class "you two what is going on... Tell me now" he said an a harsh tone.

They both stated silent not giving up there pride.

"Come on you are wasting my lunch hour" he said.

"Nothing is going on sir" Sebastian lied.

"Well..." Mr spears said to Ciel.

"Well... Umm... Err"

Sebastian looked at the tongue tied young girl.

"I'd rather talk about it to a school councillors"

Mr spears looked at Sebastian and then sent him out of the room. After a while of waiting for Ciel, she finally came out of the class.

"Right Miss Phantomhive, do as I said and see Mr Sutcliff once a week"

Then as if on Que Mr Sutcliff walked over to Mr spears.

Mr spears was an eccentric young man. He was clearly gay, for the way he acted clearly shown he was. He wore old fashioned red heels, red skinny jeans with a black shirt and red tie. He also wore a red coat that looked as if should belong to a woman.

"Oh will flirting with the students, are you already that sick of me"Mr Sutcliff said whilst pouting.

Mr spears sighed and looked at Mr Sutcliff "Mr Sutcliff when we are working address me as Mr spears, follow me into my class room and we'll continue this conversation"

The two male teacher's disappeared into the classroom and Sebastian and url knew instantly wkat was going on between them two.

"It's sweet isn't it Sebastian" Ciel said.

"What... Displaying that sort of affection between two guys is gross"

Ciel faces dropped as soon as Sebastian said those words..

"Hmm Ciel what's wrong, why are you crying" Sebastian asked.

"Sebastian, I don't think I can be friends nor anything further with you, if you feel that way, you can forget about taking me to MCM I don't wanna go anymore" Ciel was upset that Sebastian couldn't accept people like Mr spears and Mr Sutcliff.

Ciel walked away before he started actually crying in front of Sebastian

"Why did I ever have to feel this way for him. Why did he have to be straight. Why did I have to dress like a girl just to be accepted at school. Why the hell do I have to be a son of an earl" Ciel thought as he ran

((Flash back))

Sebastian looked at me as my tongue was tied in knots.

"I'd rather talk about this to a school councillors"

Me spears sent Sebastian out of the classroom and say directly opposite me

"Ciel our school councillors are on strike at the moment, so you can tell me"

Ciel nodded "Mr spears What ever I say today cannot be allowed to leave this room"

"As a teacher Ciel I can promised that I will not let that happen" he said.

"I feel insecure, scared and afraid around Sebastian... I feel he won't accept me for who I really am"

"And who is that Ciel"

"I am the son of earl Vincent Phantomhive, I am the son who is never seen"

"Are you sure, you look more like a girl to me and sure nobody has noticed your last name, but now the question is why do you dress like a girl"

Because it would disgrace the Phantomhive name if the public were to find out that I Ciel Phantomhive, son of the queens guard dog was gay we would be the laughing stock of England"

"But Ciel Are you ashamed of being gay"

"No... Because I like Sebastian, but he likes girls and he'll hate me when he finds out"  
They sat there in silence for a moment.

"Mr spears What do I do... I've herb pretending to be a girl half my life now waiting for someone who truly accepts me for who I am"

"Ciel, just think of it this way... When all is said and done at the end of the day and the boy tells you how he feels, then finds out she is really a he... Who do you think is getting hurt the most"

Ciel nodded and a tear slipped from his eye.

"Mr spear... how do you know most of this stuff " Ciel asked before he left.

"Ciel between you and Me... Me and Mr Sutcliff have our moments when we have time alone"

Ciel then smiled and left the room.

((End of flashback))

Cu was sitting on the toilets in the boys bathroom crying as quietly as he could, but then heard thee people walk onto the bathrooms.

"Hey finny, sebastiam I heard from someone seen young Phantomhive Rin into the boys toilets today, this must prove my theory that theory that she is a he" bardroy said.

"Wait what Sebastian is here" Ciel thought.

"Are you still going on about that theory bard" finny said.

"You two... shut the hell up, there is no way in hell Ciel is a boy... She's just so... So... She just too, umm too... Urg, these hasn't even been w word created for how amazing I think she is"

Ciel blushed at sebastians words.

All the boys suddenly went quiet.

"Sebastian are you in love with Ciel" Bardroy said seriously.

A small laugh came from Sebastian's lips. "You know... I just might be."

Ciel heartbeat rapidly speeded up and blushed. He was overjoyed with Sebastian's words that were fled with love for Ciel.

"No no no... Sebastian open your eyes and smell the bacon, that girl is jailbait and you know it... She isn't telling you something and when she does come clean, she'll break your heart... Trust me "

"NO... Bardroy, if you seriously have a problem with Ciel, even though you hadn't even met the girl yet. Then we have a problem" he said in a threatening tone.

"Are you stupid or just blind Michealis... That chick is a dude"

Ciel automatically furious with the American student , so he opened the door and decided to act innocent.

"Seb... Sebastian what are you doing in the girls toilets" he said as if didn't know.

"Ciel how much did you hear"

"Enough to know you not a complete and utter douche."

She looked at bard "and you Bardroy... If I ever hear you have been judging anyone before even meeting them, so help me god.. I will castrate you and feed it to the pigs, do I make myself clear"

The tension in the room was unwanted and heavy.

Bard then left with finny following behind him, leaving Sebastian and Ciel alone together.

"What you said... About your feelings for me.. was it true"

Sebastian got down one knee and took Ciel's hand "every single word, was the truth... Only to you shall I never lie" he then kissed Ciel's hand.

Ciel pulled his hand away and turned his back to Sebastian.

He felt tears stinging his eyes once again. "Sebastian... You truly like me yes?"

"Yes" he replied.

Ciel turned around to face Sebastian. "I have actually been keeping a huge secrect from You because, I was scared of not being accepted and ruining my familes name... But I truly need to know how you feel for me, whether you truly and honestly want to be with me"

Sebastian pulled Ciel into an warm embrace "Ciel I love you"

"Sebastian..." He took a deep breath "I am Ciel Phantomhive... SON of the current earl Vincent Phantomhive... I am the son who is never seen"

Sebastian had shock and pain written all over his face, he let go of Ciel hands and fell to his knees... He was with a broken heart, his one love who was love at first sight turned out to be a boy... Not just any boy the son of the queens guard dog"

Right guys now you know Ciel is a not a girl I'm going to refer him to being a boy now.

Any ooo a cliff hanger... Cus I know you guys just love them mwahahaha.


	3. Chapter 3 Pain

**_Trigger warning: _****Just a warning this chapter contains suicidal thoughts and self harm... In no way am I trying to offend anyone who have gone through or thought about this stuff so Please don't hurt me if I offend anyone.**

(("_Sebastian". He took a deep breath "I am Ciel phantomhive ... The son of the current earl Vincent Phantomhive... I am the son who is never seen"_

_Sebastian had shock and pain written all over his face, he leg go of Ciel's hand and fell to his knees ... He was with a broken heart, Ciel was his first love, it was love at first sight and Ciel turned out to be a boy... Not just any boy , the soon of the queens guard dog.))_

"Sebastian" Ciel whispered.

"You fucking disgust me Phantomhive, you must be some sick pervert to go as far as dressings like a girl ad fool men into loving you"

"Sebast..." Ciel started.

Sebastian interupted before he could continue talking. "Don't even say my name, I stood up for you and I can't fucking believe you made a fool out of me... Don't ever look or talk to me ever again... You really disgust me you faggot" and with that Sebastian left without letting Ciel explain one thing.

Ciel was angry with himself, he just didn't know what to do any more. He just wanted to crawl into a black hole and just die. He never felt this way about anyone before and he never wanted to hurt Sebastian, but it was now killing him knowing that his feelings for Sebastian shall never be returned to him.

The boy then proceeded to take out his old friend from his bag ... His knife "hello old friend ...its been a while, I decided I didn't need you again when I met him... But I guess I was wrong"he said quietly as he placed the blade against his skin and cut it across, when the deep red blood started to flow out of his body so did all of his emotions until he felt numb again for the first time in a while after meeting Sebastian.

His habbit started when he came out as being gay to his best friend in his first year of secondary school ... Ciel trusted his friend but he spread Ciel's secret around the school like wildfire. The bullying began and then he realised no one would accept humbdoe who he was. He was so alone, so afraid. One day he was cutting something and accidently cut himself, he realised it felt good and he liked the pain and the numbness that the knife had given him.

Once Ciel cleaned up the blood and the cut he wrapped it and put a Hoddie on to cover his scars.

He walked out of the bathroom with his hood up so he wouldn't get caught walking out of the boys toilets. Nobody noticed him, nobody was talking about him, no one was staring and no one was looking beat him up.

Sebastian on the other hand he would skip class for the day as Ciel was in most of his cclasses with him that day and he was too pissed off to listen to teaches drone on about pure bullshit.

He was tempted to tell bard he was right about Ciel but he felt he couldn't be  
Betray Ciel like that ... But he had already done that ... He had done more that he had broken Ciel's heart as Ciel did to him. He had called Ciel disgusting, he had said that he wanted nothing more to do with him. He wanted to go back and apologise but his pride was weighing him down and stopping him from going to Ciel and saying 'I don't care I still like you'

Ciel had Sebastian's heart not matter what gender. But Sebastian's homophobia and pride was getting in the way of all that .

"That fucking faggot" he said as he tried to convince himself that he didn't need Ciel.

Sebastian was going to be true to his word and avoid the younger male like as if he was a disease.

~one week later~/Ciel's home/

Ciel woke up numb. He didn't care about anything again, he just wanted to get Sebastian out of his thoughts.

But no matter how much he tried he just couldn't do it.

"Ciel darling if you don't get up you'll be late for school" Ciel's mother said.

Ciel's mother was a loving woman of a wealthy lifestyle. She knew about Ciel though he hadn't ever told her, she knew her son was struggling but couldn't find the right time to ever talk to her son about the matter of his sexuality.

Ciel looked at his mother and smiled knowing that she was genuinely smiling at him... Ciel loved his mother so much, he just couldn't tell her his secret in fear that she would end up hating him for being gay.

"Is father at work today" Ciel asked.

"No, he is downstairs and would like to to talk to is both on an important subject"

"Is this about the engagement to Elizabeth, mother?"

She sighed and have her son a sympathetic smile, she didn't want to force her son into marriage but her husband wouldn't have it any other way.

Ciel say at the dining room table as he did every morning for breakfast. His father and mother soon joined him to eat their morning meal.

"Ciel.." His father Vincent started "as you know you are now to be offically engaged to your cousin Elizabeth, me and you mother have decided to make it officiall by throwing a ball for you both" he said as if Ciel had no choice in the matter, which he didn't.

Ciel sighed and poked at his food.

"Do you have something to say Ciel" his father enquired.

"What if I decided... I didn't want to marry miss Elizabeth father."

The earl put his fork down and looked at Ciel

"Ciel... Is this because you love someone else?"

"I don't know" Ciel said

"Did you meet someone at school?"

"Kinda"

"Does she know you are the next head of the Phantomhive family?"

Ciel went quiet and sank into his chair not wanting to answer the question.

"Ciel... You knew that you were to marry Elizabeth.."before the earl could Ciel abruptly stood up and slammed his hands down onto the table.

"How do you even know if the person I love is a girl" he quickly realised what he had said and out his hands over his mouth

"Ciel... What are you trying to say" Vincent said almost undertanding what his son has just said.

"Father... Mother, I think its about time I told you The reason i don't want to marry miss Elizabeth is because... Because" Ciel was becoming nervous.

"I am gay... I have no intrest in women nor I want to marry one... And even then I'm never accepted as a person anymore when my friends find out" Ciel admitted

His mother hugged her son and comforted the young not who was crying "Vincent... Do you have anything to say to your son" Rachel said to her husband.

Vincent walked over to his son and raised his hand. Ciel flinched a little as he thought his father would slap Mr hit him, but then his father placed his hand on his head and kneeled down to his rather short son.

"Ciel... That took a lot of bravery to tell us what you just did, I am not too happy with having to call off the engagement, but I am proud of you telling us both before it was too late"

Ciel hugged his father and mother feeling a huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.

~later that day at school~

Ciel didn't want to go to school as he feared that Sebastian had told everyone about his crossdressing tendencies.

But again hardly anyone paid any mind to him. He suspected either nobody cared about his sexuality and cross dressing or Sebastian hadn't told anyone.

But Sebastian made it clear to Ciel how he truly felt, he had said that if didn't love Ciel anymore.

Sebastian saw Ciel walk into school and saw him wearing a shirt, hoodie and jeans with all star converses. This was strange as Ciel wouldn't normally wear things like this. Usually if would be wearing girly clothes since at school everyone though of him as a girl due to his cross dressing.

But only Ciel knew he was wearing this attire to hide his ugly scars.

Then Ciel saw Sebastian surrounded by girls, his eyes threatened to tear up but he squeezed the blade in his pocket remembering with only a cut or two he could get rid of his pain and only feel numbness if he chose to.

Ciel knew that he shouldn't cry over Sebastian, he knew sebastian didnt love him anymore because of who he was. Then again it was partly Ciel's own fault, maybe if Ciel didn't dress like a girl then Sebastian still would've fallen for him. To hell with it Ciel would've been fine if they were just friends. And maybe Sebastian would also still liked him if he didn't lie to everyone around him.

Once again Ciel felt the need to have the blade against his skin again. Ciel looked at Sebastian and saw he was was wearing his K-on shirt with ripped black jeans and black high tops.

He started to feel silly for wearing such clothes that covered him up in such heat... Ciel remember it was to be the hottest day on record in London today.

He sighed and decided that it was time to go to Mr spears's history class once again. Where he had to spend a whole hour of his life avoiding any contact with Sebastian.

Ciel sat at his desk next to Sebastian, who was looking out of the window. Ciel laid his head on the table. Then class started and Mr William automatically felt the unwanted aura in the room he looked at Ciel and realised he wasn't paying attention. So he decided to talk to the two students after class.

Sebastian put a note on Ciel's desk then again turned his attention to the window and the outside world.

Ciel sat up and seen the note, he opened it up and read it.

_**Ciel... I'm not telling anyone your stupid little so stop being a moody little bitch and get over it **_  
_**S.M**_

Ciel looked at Sebastian, who was looking out of the window.

He quickly wrote a note back to Sebastian. He then picked up and read it.

_**Thought you weren't talking to me ... Looks like some can't get over the fact that he is love with another boy**_

**_CP_**

As soon as he finished reading the note, he shot ciel with a death glare, but all Ciel did was smile as he remember when Sebastian told him, he liked Ciel.

Sebastian handed him another note this time Ciel felt like he was about to be insulted by the older student again.

**_I am not gay Phantomhive. I seriously thought that you were a girl. I didn't expect you you to say "hey I'm the son of an earl oh yeah I'm also gay" _**

Ciel once again looked at sebastian, who looked like he was ready to kill someone. Ciel and Sebastian sighed in frustration and the teacher caught Sebastian about to hand Ciel another note.

" sebastian... I see you have a note... Please share with us what you have written"

"Yes sir" Sebastian stood up " nothing will make me regret what I said"

"Right... I want both you and miss Phantomhive to stay behind at the end of class."

Both boys sighed and continued to make the atmosphere in the class very,very uncomfortable.

The bell rang and all the students except Ciel and Sebastian left the class.

" would you two like to explain to me what the hell is going on between you two... Because the whole class noticed the most uncomfortable vibes coming from both of you"

"It's nothing to do with you." Sebastian retorted.

Ciel glared at Sebastian and started to become even more pissed off the the older male.

"Well sir you see, I told Sebastian about the little thing we discussed a while ago"

"Oh... I see you didn't take the news quite so well as I hoped. Tell me Michealis you know Ciel's true identity and to be in my opinion his poor excuse for cross dressing is terrible... Do you know why, young mister Phantomhive does what he does"

"No sir"

"So the Phantomhive family do not become the laughing stock of England, Ciel is willing to risk his pride and reputation just to be with the person he loves"

Sebastian knew his teacher was right but he couldn't face the fact that he liked a boy.

So he decided to continue to lie both to himself and others around him "do you think I give a Shit... I mean he's a boy... I'm a boy... It's not natural for two boys to be together like that"

Mr spears slammed his hands onto Sebastian's desk making Ciel who was still sitting next to him jump.

"You know Michealis as I am part of the LGBT community I can tell you its perfectly natural to be in love with whoever you want to be in love with... I can tell you homophobic scum like you are the worst as a teacher I a teacher I ashamed to call you my student... You may be a homophobic little brat, but I can see in you eyes you are in love with Ciel... All you have to do is throw away that stupid pride of yours and tell him now that you like him"

Sebastian looked at Ciel who was twiddling with his thumbs, Sebastian noticed Ciel had also pink dusted across his face.

"Sebastian I undertand if you can't feel that way towards another boy, but I'd be more than satisfied to be friends with you." Ciel said quietly.

"No" Sebastian said.

"I undertand" tears began to well up in ciel's eyes and they threatened to fall.

"I mean how can you be satisfied with just being friends with the one you love... It's cruel to do that to yourself."

"Isn't it just as cruel to force someone into loving you... I'd rather spend my day by your side being your friend then spend the rest of my days alone without you... That is what people do when they love someone"

Sebastian realised Ciel really did mean it when Ciel said he liked him "Ciel... I'd rather have you as my lover than make you suffer being alone or just my friend... I first realised that I liked you when you walked into this classroom for the very first time and now to be honest after a week when you told of about world secret I started really thinking about it, I have decided to throw away my pride love you as you are... Whether you are male or female"

Ciel started to cry but these weren't tears of sadness there were tears of joy. Ciel finally had his feelings returned and he hesitantly hugged sebastian as if it was all a dream and this kind caring version of Sebastian wasn't real... But what made him realise it wasn't a dream was Mr spears.

He coughed and looked at the two boys "when you two are quite finished, I would actually like to go home today and not do the overtime"

Sebastian and Ciel walked home together, Sebastian dropped Ciel off at his house Sebastian leaned in for a kiss but then Ciel's butler tanaka opened the door making Sebastian jump away for the younger boy.

"Young master I see you have returned home rather late today, your mother and father were wondering what you were up to"

"Thank you tanaka you may leave now"

"Yes my young lord" he replied.

"Wow Phantomhive you weren't kidding when you said your father was an earl"

Ciel rolled his eyes and kissed Sebastian on the cheek.

"See you tomorrow Sebastian" Ciel said as he smiled.

The door closed and Sebastian walked away grinning like an idiot.

Ciel on the other hand was in conference With his parents for the second time for the day.

"So Ciel... Anything good happen at school today" his mother asked.

"You could say that, yes"

His mother gave an all knowing smile.

"Father, have you had a reply from Elizabeth's mother?"

"Yes... She isn't happy Ciel... She will not call off the engagement and intends to make the engagement public whether we like it or not"

Ciel's heart broke into two as he realised he couldn't be with Sebastian forever... He had to marry an overly hyperactive girl who would not shut up about cute things.

"No... What about... No I can't... Mother, father I'm dating someone now... I don't want to leave him. He's the only one who I want, please don't make me do this"

"Ciel we have no control over this anymore... You must in through with this marriage"

Dun. Dun. Dunnnn...

Cliffhanger lol because I know you guys love them mwahahaha.


	4. Chapter 4 a teasing pleasure

Later that night Ciel kept himself locked up in his room refusing to come out but of course his mother was sympathetic her son's situation and told her husband to leave Ciel alone and that if he was to try and speak to there son at this point in time it would only push him further away from them. Understanding this Vincent agreed with his wife and decided to leave their son to his own thoughts and in the time begin he would have to help with the preparations for the announcement of his son's engagement.

In Ciel's bedroom. When he had gotten to his room he had shut and locked the door and once he had Ciel leaned his back against the door, staring up at the ceiling. He couldn't stand everything that was happening and being so powerless with his own future, why shouldn't he be able to choose who he loves or in fact marry. No this wasn't fair, none of it was but once again he found himself weak and powerless at doing anything about it and slid his back down the door and sat the floor. Ciel wrapped his arms around his legs and brought his knees up into his chest so that he could rest his head on them and buried his face in between his knees. The one thought that kept popping to his mind was Sebastian, since just after he was able to except him for who he was, this happens. Ciel had already broken Sebastian's heart once, how could he possible bare to do it again but he knew his time Sebastian wouldn't last long.

For the rest of the night nothing was herd coming from Ciel's room and even in the morning when the butler went to check on him Ciel door was unlocked but know one was in the room. Ciel had decided to leave early for school today since he wasn't in the right mind to really look at his parents right now. He still loved them dearly but the fact that after he had came out to them and told them how he truly felt, they still intended to make him marry a girl he hand no interest in. Ciel understood that it wasn't so much his parents fault but in the end they were his parents and shouldn't they have the say and not his aunt? he couldn't wrap his head around all of this and so just left to avoid seeing them for now. His goal for to day was to see Sebastian and act as he normally would and for now he would hold back on telling him the grave news. I mean he didn't want to ruin newly formed relationship, it had only just begun and with a rocky start to begin with and so for now he wouldn't do anything to course more harm to it. Since he knew for sure in the future things were only going to get harder on the both of them and so for just this short amount of time Ciel wanted to be selfish and keep Sebastian to himself.

Meanwhile Sebastian was getting ready for school bright and early like he did for most even if he choose to walk a slow and lazy pace in the mornings on the way there. Thoughts of his new found love popped up into his head and this brought a smile to his lips that even he couldn't hide even if he wanted to which was unlike him. To make the morning bright for him, he came across a stray cat with bright blue eyes, that also reminded him of his beloveds. Sebastian approached the cat and began to stroke the feline fondly.

At school the first bell had gone and Ciel had already arrived at class over half an hour earlier then anyone else and sat down in his chair. When the class began he soon noticed that Sebastian was no where in sight and wondered if perhaps he had changed his mind about loving him and in fact couldn't bare to look at him. Ciel soon washed this thought out of his mind the memory of having Sebastian confess to him popped into his head and this brought a little smile to him and his pale cheeks became tinted with a light pink ever so slightly from the continuing thought. Around ten minuets into the lesson Sebastian came from the class room door and apologized for being late but of course his teacher wasn't happy with just a simple sorry.

"Sebastian sit down and get on with the work and we will discuss you lateness after class, is that understood?" Sebastian nodded his head and took his seat next to Ciel and looked out the window away from him. Again Ciel had the thought that Sebastian may have changed his mind but that wasn't the case since when Sebastian entered the room the first thing he had notice was the little smile on Ciel's face and felt that if he was to look at him right now his face may indeed turn red. Sebastian ripped a corner out of his note book and wrote something down and placed the note over on Ciel's desk once again keeping his eyes to the window. It didn't take long for Ciel to notice and with a small gulp of worry, he picked up the note and read it.

bYou look happy, I don't suppose it was because you were thinking of me? well I would like to ensure you that I haven't changed my mind and I intend to stick with you until the end x p.s I was late due to being distracted by a cat that reminded me of you. /b

Ciel read the note and a small sigh of relief could be herd coming from him and he was happy knowing that Sebastian's feelings for him hadn't changed over night and that he more then likely didn't regret falling for him. Although Ciel wasn't to sure on if he should be happy with the whole "there's a cat that looks like him" Ciel emphasized in his head. Ciel was about to write something back to him when he notice the teacher glaring over to him and so decided that he wouldn't write back and just speak to him during their next break.

After class Ciel was waiting outside the classroom for Sebastian as he explained to the teacher why he was late. While there, Bard and Finny approached Ciel and stood around a foot distance from him. Finny looked to Ciel and thought that there was no way that he could be a boy and gave "her" a bright smile, while Bard just folded his arms and held a slight irritated look on his face. The truth was that bard couldn't help the fact that he had called this "girl" hot once and was annoyed at himself since he "She" was out of his reach and in the back of his mind he wondered could this be why he was so determined in saying that "she" was a he. Bards train of thoughts were interrupted by Ciel as "she" spoke up

"Excuse me but do you mind telling me what you guys want? or are you both going to continue looking at me? it's rather irritating" Ciel said this with the slight out of annoyance in his voice and wasn't interesting in talking to Bard. Finny didn't so much as bother him only that he was hanging out with an idiot who had made some rather horrid comments about him before and Ciel didn't care to converse with either of the two. Bard spoke up in response to Ciel's question and there was a sound of sarcasm and annoyance that could be herd in the tone of his voice.

Well if your gonna stand there like a show dog, then I don't see why we can't take a look at what's on displ-" Just before he could finish his sentence Sebastian exited the classroom and stood behind Ciel. He had a rather devilish smile held across his mouth as he looked to Bard with sharp eyes, Sebastian soon spoke up as well which caused Ciel to jump slightly from surprise of suddenly hearing his voice.

"Show dog you say? I'm afraid the only dog's I see are in front of me and I am afraid that if the do not disperse soon, I may have to do the dog catchers a favor and get dispose of them" He shot bard a sinister smirk and this only was enough to send a shock down Bards and Finnys spin. With in no time Finny smile and grabbed Bards arm looking to him as he spoke up in a nervous but cheery tone.

"O-Oh I forgot Bard, we are meant to meet up with Mey Rin r-remember" he laughed nervously and soon pulled Bard away and down the corridor and with the looks that Bard was still getting from Sebastian, he showed no signs of resisting and went with him willingly in order to escape Sebastian's stare. Once the two had left Ciel tuned and looked to Ciel and soon Sebastian's smile turned from one a devil would pull into a loving and warm smile. This caused Ciel's heart to skip a beat on the spot but it wasn't a feeling that he minded and in fact he quite loved it when Sebastian could make his heart stop with just that simple warm loving smile of his and in return Ciel smiled back to him.

For this break time Ciel and Sebastian went to the school roof and looked out over the balcony at the view to take in the still fresh and bright day. They didn't seem to say much during this time by they still very much enjoyed just simply being in each other's presence. Sebastian notice that Ciel was still wearing the same hoodie from the other day and this caused him to raise a brow considering how hot the weather was. But before Sebastian could get out a single word Ciel spoke up to break the silence, with a slight cheerful but also calm tone.

"S-Sebastian can I ask you something?" he asked with a slight stutter, Sebastian slightly titled his head and gave a slight smile as to answer that he could ask him what he wanted and with that smile Ciel looked of to the side his cheeks becoming red once more.

"U-Umm well, I was just curious on umm" he couldn't help the nervous tone that only seemed to grow in his voice as he tried to get out his question, his eyes slowly making their way back over to Sebastian's who now held a curious expression on his face.

"What was the first thing you notice about me?" This made Sebastian's eyes widen slightly simply in surprise to the question and on his own pale skin, a soft velvet color appeared in his cheeks but he soon left out a soft sigh and answered the question with a warming smile.

"You eyes of course, why do you ask?" This made Ciel's face turn a much deeper shade of red as he turned his back to him and let out in a nervous panic.

"N-N-No reason at all! none at all!" he couldn't help this over whelming feeling of embarrassment that seemed to consume him. Even thought it was something so simple, all he said was his eyes and yet once again Ciel found his heart beating faster and faster with every second that past. There was no doubt about it he was already madly in love with this guy even thought they had only just really met. Before Ciel's thoughts could travel any further, he suddenly felt himself being pulled into a warm embrace from behind as Sebastian pulled him closer to him in a hug. This once again made Ciel burst out in embarrassment and a slight annoyance but only to the fact of how shy and nervous he felt at this point in time.

"W-What are you doing" A soft snicker could be heard coming from Sebastian as he brought his lips down to his ear and whispered in to Ciel's ear.

"Simply showing my affection for my love, my little lord" He let out another soft snicker and before Ciel could get out another word the bell for the end of break had rang. Sebastian took Ciel's hand without hesitation and lead him back down off the roof and towards the classroom but once in sight of people almost by instinct Ciel pulled his hand away from Sebastian. This caused him to turn and look to Ciel but Ciel just responded with a shy little smile and just followed close behind Sebastian back to the class room.

The rest of the day seemed to go by so quick and before Ciel knew it the school day had ended and he would need to return home. When this occurred him a slight look of horror hit his face as he got up from his desk and grabbed his bag. In this time Ciel had became lost in his own thoughts and completely blanked Sebastian not even saying good bye as the idea of going home horrified him more and more with each second. What scared him the most was the chance of hearing the date of when his aunt and parents planned to set the announcement for his engagement to Elizabeth and with every step he felt the weight on his shoulders only increasing. Of course Sebastian could tell right away that there was something on Ciel's mind and he knew there was still so much he didn't know about him but wanted to learn and if possible learn as much as he could as soon as he could. So in wanting to become closer Sebastian got up from his seat within no time and followed behind him.

When Ciel was around half way home he stopped and turned and walked into the small park that wasn't far from the path he was on and made his way over to the swings where he sat down and looked up to the sky. Ciel was aware the he was being followed and knew by who once he had snapped out his own little dark world. Sebastian made his way over to him without saying a word and sat down on the free swing next to Ciel, he then copied him and looked up to the sky just like he did. For a moment there was just silence between the two and Ciel was going to break it but this time Sebastian beat him to it.

"Why are you wearing that hoodie?" Ciel quickly looked from the sky and over to him as this wasn't the question he was expecting to hear from him right now. It was clear on Ciel's face that he was hesitant to answer the question even when Sebastian spoke up again sound more persistent this time in his questioning.

"Before this whole even with us you wore pretty dresses and more girly clothes and I've notice that you've been wearing that same hoodie since these events. So can you tell me why you are wearing it or must I remove your clothes and see for myself?" Ciel was lost for words as Sebastian's gaze moved from the sky and down to match his and Sebastian's serious expression matched his tone in which he had spoke in. This caused Ciel to gulp but in a way, Ciel also felt relieved that he didn't ask him what was wrong or what was on his mind and so for a moment Ciel looked down towards the ground and spoke up in a soft and quiet tone.

"it's the one thing that makes my pain go away. I know I shouldn't do it and it isn't a sight that is pretty, in fact it's probably the opposite but the truth is no matter how horrid it may appear to others, it really helps me in times that I can't take the most... I understand if this fact put's you off from me..." Ciel couldn't get out any more words and couldn't bring himself to even look at Sebastian at this point in time and a look of pain and worry crept up onto his expression. Even though Ciel didn't say the words directly, Sebastian already knew what he meant and what made it worse that because Ciel had only just started wearing that hoodie that it meant the problems and things that Sebastian had said to him before most likely brought his on. There was a look of equal pain on Sebastian's face and he let out in a whisper.

"idiot" Ciel expected words like these and so he didn't show any signs of change in his expression and expected to hear more words like these thrown at him but what he heard surprised him even more then what he thought.

"how could I be such an idiot? to have caused this type of event to happen..." Sebastian suddenly got of his swing and moved to in front of Ciel where he fell to his knees and once again pulled Ciel into a warm embrace, holding him tight as he rested his head over Ciel's small brought shoulders. Sebastian spoke up once more in a quiet and caring tone as he held Ciel close to him.

"I'm truly sorry for the pain I caused you but I want you to know that this so make sure to listen to my every word. If you feel pained or mad or hurt even if it's at me, please do remember that no matter what happens I will always be here so help with the pain you are feeling and I promise that I will find a new and easy way to help you release the pain that you feel but until then let me help by doing one small act now." Sebastian leaned back and brought his hands from around Ciel and onto his shoulders as he slightly tilted his head and gave him a small grin speaking up once more but in a cheerier tone then before.

"Now my little lord would you do be a favor and close your eyes for me?" Ciel felt comforted by just Sebastian's words, for as long as he was with him his heart felt calm and at peace but yet at the same time it felt restless and excited and all these different emotions brought happiness to his mind and heart. He looked deep into Sebastian's eyes when he gave him that grin and asked him to close his eyes, Ciel wondered on what reason he would need to but then he recalled the last part of Sebastian's sentence and this once again made the young lord blush just like a school girl in love. Ciel closed his eyes and waited to see what Sebastian would do as he felt Sebastian getting closer with every passing second and this only increased the speed in which his heart went but to Ciel's disappointment and surprise Sebastian only kissed his forehead.

Ciel opened his eyes when he felt Sebastian move back, not long after opening his eyes could he the smirk that Sebastian held across his face and this just made Ciel feel slightly embarrassed but feeling stubborn he did his best not to show his little disappointment as Sebastian spoke up once more.

"I can guess by that look on your face you weren't to happy with my little act? Since this is the start of something new I felt like getting your permission first before giving you just a slight bigger gift" The smirk on his face only increased and at the same time the annoyance on Ciel's also grew as Sebastian continued to speak.

"If you wish for anything more you will have to request it and by your order I will full fill it as my duty as your boyfriend or other wise what kind of boyfriend would I be if I couldn't grant my loves every request" The look of annoyance left Ciel's face and was replaced by complete embarrassment and out of stubbornness, he moved back in his swing away from Sebastian and began to continue his journey home as he shouted out back to him.

"To hell if I would do something as embarrassing as that!" He stormed of feeling embarrassed and there was a light smile held on his face that no amount of announce could seem to wipe it off. Once Ciel had began to head home again Sebastian stood up from the swing and made his way over to him and with Ciel's small steps it didn't take long for Sebastian to catch up to him. For the rest of the time Sebastian walked slightly behind Ciel since he was sure Ciel wouldn't be happy at him trying to catch a peak at his blushing face right now and so he made sure to keep a small distance as they continued walking. Like before Sebastian walked Ciel all the was home but before Ciel entered through the gates, he stopped where he was for a moment.

Sebastian stopped right after Ciel and watched as he stood there and just before Sebastian said anything Ciel spoke and turned to face him with a deep blush across his face.

"I-I... I order you to kiss me right now!" Ciel said this with a slight nervous tone at first but by then end of his sentence his voice became stern and this brought another grin across Sebastian's face as he replied to him.

"Yes my love" With that he took a step closer towards him and leaned forwards so he was near the height of Ciel's lips and got ever so closer but of course fate wasn't so kind and just when he was a centimeter away from kissing Ciel, Tanaka opened the front door and called out to Ciel, causing Sebastian to slightly panic and take a step back from him. Annoyed Ciel turned and looked over to him and shouted out to him.

"I'll be right there! now go back inside this instant!" By the tone of voice he heard coming from his lord, Tanaka didn't hesitate with going back inside the manner and made sure to close the front door and simply wait for Ciel to come in on his own time. Ciel let out a small sigh and then slowly turned his head back but before he could even turn his head all the way back he had already notice that Sebastian was gone. Within that short amount of time from when Ciel was yelling at his butler, Sebastian had notice the stray cat from this morning and without realizing it himself he had already walked around the corner and down a complete random street. This caused Ciel to let out another sigh and he turned and headed towards the manners front doors as he muttered to himself.

"Yeah one hell of a boyfriend my Ass" with another scoff he found himself inside his home making his way to his room where he once again locked his door and then just collapsed laying down on his bed once again muttering to himself in annoyance.

"Just you wait you idiot, I'll get you to kiss me!" He soon quickly buried his head into his pillow and once calm and relaxed he found himself drifting off into a deep dream-filed sleep.

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	5. Chapter 5 sleepover

_"Ciel we have no control over this anymore ... you must go through with this marriage "_

No matter how hard Ciel tried he just couldn't push his fathers words out of his mind and the thing that annoyed Ciel even more that every time Sebastian went to kiss him either Sebastian would hesitate and kiss his forehead or cheek. Or they would be only inches apart and someone or something would ruin the moment.

Ciel was once again becoming restless, this had been the third night in a row he couldn't sleep due to his situation of not only being forced to marry his cousin by his aunt, but to the fact that one day he would have to break Sebastian's heart again and say goodbye to him forever.

Ciel couldn't bare to loose or hurt Sebastian, he just liked Sebastian too much.

Ciel's phone received a text and began to buzz.

Ciel picked up the phone and opened the text, it was from the very person if was just thinking about.

_I'm sorry for walking off earlier , but I saw an absolutely cute kitten that looked like you, but I shall make it up to you tomorrow when I see you... _

_Sebastianxx_

"Tch" Ciel said as he seen the text "bloody cat obsessed moron" he said.

'Don't pretend that you love me more than cats... Idiot' Ciel thought to himself.

Ciel chucked his phone on the floor, allowing himself to be childish and skulk over the fact that his 'boyfriend' couldn't kiss him due to the fact that every time they got close they were interrupted by someone or something.

He buried his head into his fluffy, warm pillow as tears threatened to spill from his eyes. His ring tone started to play and Ciel couldn't be bothered to answer because one it was his favorite anime theme tune((sakura kiss : OHSHC)) and two he didn't feel like talking to anybody at the time.

After his phone rang for the fifth time in row Ciel decided if was getting rather annoyed with song and the person who was trying to ring him.

Ciel got off his bed and picked the phone as it finished ringing and looked at the caller ID it was sebastian and the first words that came to mind were 'oh shit'

ciel began to panic. what if sebastian thought ciel wasnt intersted in him anymore and had given up on the whole relationship all together, as ciel panicked tanaka knocked on his door "young master, there is a visitor asking for you"

ciel followed tanaka downstairs the the front door to find a rather uneasy sebastian. ciel paused and sebastian ran up to him and hugged him "i was so worried, thank god your okay" sebastian said.

"tanaka you are exused" ciel said making sure the butler had gone away before talking to sebastian.

"why are you here" ciel asked pretending not to know about sebastian's missed calls.

"i rang you to see if you were alright but you didnt answer, i thought something had happened to you"

Ciel was serectly glad that sebastian was worried about him "oh i was kinda sleeping and i turned my phone onto mute so i didnt hear it"

sebastian was glad that ciel wasnt in any danger "well since i know you're alright, i best get going, im sorry to have disturbed you ciel" sebastian said as he felt unwanted in the manor.

"you dont have to go... i mean its not like i want you to stay... it's just that it's already late and im sure its pitch black outside..." before ciel could sebatian held ciel in his arms and hugged him.

"i didnt realise you were this cute when you stuttered" sebastian said.

ciel pushed him away and brushed himself off "sebastian, please this is my family home, my aunt fransis, mother, farther or cousin Elizabeth could see us at any time"

"im sorry ciel i didnt realise" sebastian said.

"dont worry about it, let just get you to my room before my mother see you"

"what would happen if she saw us?" sebastian asked.

"she would play a game of 20 questions, seriously both her and father know about you but it would be like an interigation office" ciel said warning sebastian.

they laughed quietly and made there way up to ciel's room.

before they entered ciel stopped infront of the door and led Sebastian into the room." Sebastian, you can't have me as I am in public but here in the privacy of my room you can have of as you please"

sebastian pinned ciel against the door and breathed on ciel's neck sending shivers down the smaller lovers spine. "Ciel if you say I can have you as you please... Then let me have you calling emy name out in pure ecstasy" he said seductively.

"no you pervert, I said you could have me, not that you could try out your weird perverse fantasies on me" ciel said as he tried pushed sebastian away but he was stronger.

"my love... my ciel, you had ordered me to kiss you and i had not fufilled your wish and you did not specify how I could have you."

ciel's breathing became slower and heavier with anticipation, for he was about to recive his first kiss that he had waited so long for, sebastian moved his lips closer to ciel's. it seem liked he was dreaming as if sebastian wasn't really real and he had finally lost his mind from lonlines , but it was real and he knew it was real because their lips had finally met .

Ciel was first a little surprised but them if got used to the kiss and melted into it. Once they had parted they were panting to regain their breath.

Ciel felt the need for more, Sebastian's kisses were addictive like a drug that was manufacturer's just for him. Ciel once again closed the gap between themselves and this time Sebastian slipped his tongue into Ciel's mouth fighting for dominance.

Sebastian quickly moved Ciel over to his bed and threw him down."seb.. Sebastian... What are you doing"

"Do you wish not to be pleasured"

"Not yet Sebastian, in not ready... We only just began this relationship...what if you don't like the way sex between to men works."

"Ciel... I understand, don't worry in not dissappointed. The fact that I was finally able to kiss you my love is all that matters."

Ciel blushed and then smiled "Sebastian I really do like you"

"I know Ciel, now let up sleep. We have school tomorrow"

Ciel got under the covers with his boyfriend and laid on his chest

"Good night Sebastian"


End file.
